Nonchalant closure?

I just had a revelation of sorts readers.
The funniest thing is that it came in the form of an online comic Questionable Content 


I guess a bit of back story is in order here.


Ya see I had this girlfriend all of last year and a bit of the year before that. I instantly fell for her thanks to my attraction towards a tan complexion, sexy good looks and an approachable nature. Things went as well as I thought they could be going, but one thing made the relationship complicated.


I have a somewhat dark and mysterious past. "ooooOOOoo skeletons in the closet hmmm Alex?" I hear you say faithful reader. And it is true, I do have some. But they will stay there for now. 
To get back on track, this caused a lot of drama in the relationship. To give myself credit, I disclosed to her all the details before we ever got intimate, so I feel justified in saying I did the right thing. But somehow this didn't help. Somehow I was left to feel like I had conned her into this relationship and that the subsequent arguments were my fault alone.


I can probably hear you saying "well fuck, the silly cow could have broken up with you if she wanted to" and yes I would agree with you there beloved reader. However, I was a pretty persistent fellow back then, trying to keep her love (It felt so so good. Like cake and lemon pie/cheesecake all rolled into one mega dessert) so I might have made it a tad difficult to do so. 
That coupled with her admission that she felt comfortable and happy in a way, that someone loved her so much that he would do anything to please her, made it hard for either of us to burn the bridge.


Which brings us to the revelation. As if all the awesome boyfriend stuff I did for her wasn't enough, including but not limited to, jumping on a bus every weekend to travel 3 1/2 hours to spend a few days with her. I attempted to fix our relationship in a desperate last effort by moving up to her hometown. 
This of course was a horrible idea and it all crashed and burned in a fairly spectacular way. 

BUT. 


This brings me to the point of my post.
The moral of this drawn out story, is that I gave that relationship everything I had. Every ounce of my being. 
I thought closure was needed on our fucked up relationship. But it turns out my pilgrimage for love was all the closure I could ever want. I now realise that.


And this makes me happy in myself. Which is really quite a good thing because god knows I need some self esteem going on up in this joint. :D


I hope this post didn't turn out as emo as I thought it might, given the subject matter, but I really felt like sharing something that was good for me on a personal level with YOU; my readers.
Maybe there are some people out there who can relate? Maybe not. 
In any case, it is 6am now and I really have to get some sleep. All this nocturnal naughtiness is doing my system in.


Ciao for now darlin's. And thanks for reading :3